


Worst. Advice. Ever.

by themadlurker



Category: Merlin (BBC)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Revelation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-08-18
Updated: 2009-08-18
Packaged: 2017-10-08 05:11:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/73039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themadlurker/pseuds/themadlurker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin blames Gwen for giving him some bad advice about how to tell Arthur.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Worst. Advice. Ever.

"Worst. Advice. _Ever_," moaned Merlin as he sank down onto the step next to Gwen.

"You told Arthur?"

"I did. And he did not take it well."

"What did he have to say, then?" Gwen urged him on.

"I couldn't tell, really. After the third or fourth '**_MERLIN!!!_**' it all got very incoherent. I think—I _think_ he may have offered to flay me alive."

"Oh, Merlin! Did he at least let you explain about re-dyeing it?"

"Oh no, this was all before I'd even got to mentioning the fact that I'd ruined his favourite jacket."

"What, then..."

"'Put it into context, Merlin.' That's what you said. 'It's not like this is the most outrageous thing you've ever done,'" he repeated mockingly. Or, it was probably meant to sound mocking, but Merlin had never really been the sort of person who practised mocking people, so it mostly sounded like he was hyperventilating.

Gwen still thought she'd sounded a lot more polite when she said it. She was fairly sure her version had included a lot of apologies and qualifications, like "not that I mean you're a _bad_ servant, exactly—well, you're not very good—but you're a good person! And Arthur knows that..."

Then again, maybe she would have done better to be a little less polite and a little more specific, because... well, it wasn't that Merlin was an idiot, exactly, he wasn't! Not at all! Just, he did have a certain tendency not to think things through properly, and maybe she should have given him a point-by-point list instead of general advice.

Merlin had put his head between his knees, apparently trying to calm his breathing.

"So... you didn't actually tell him about the jacket, then?" she queried.

Merlin moaned faintly.

"I did. I thought, after all that wind-up, and since he'd already thrown most of the breakable things in his room out into the hallway before I managed to shut the door behind me, it probably couldn't get much worse—" which wasn't exactly what Gwen had meant by "put it into context" and maybe she _should_ have been clearer on that point "—so I marched right back in there—just as soon as the thudding stopped—and told him that his jacket was pink now and he was just going to have to deal with it."

"And...?"

Merlin let out a high-pitched noise that might have been a wail.

"He just sort of stared at me for a moment like he thought I was completely mad before he chased me out of his rooms again. Only this time I think he may have wanted to strangle me with the jacket. Or make me eat it. I'm not sure which."

"Oh, Merlin," Gwen sighed, with a familiar tone of mingled despair and affection. "What on earth did you tell him to set him off like that?"

"I may have mentioned one or two things I've done for him, over the last year—"

"...but good things, yes?"

"Absolutely! And some of the sacrifices I've made for him."

It all sounded perfectly reasonable to Gwen, but this _was_ Merlin after all, so she must have missed a way for him to have bungled it. Gwen tried to think of anything she'd said that could have been misconstrued.

"You didn't... well, not that you would... I mean, it's just sometimes you... you didn't, sort of, mock him about it?"

Because if there was one person Merlin _did_ get regular practice in on mocking, it was Arthur.

Merlin just shook his head disconsolately.

"Well then, I'm sure whatever you said, Arthur's your friend, and he's bound to forgive you eventually."

This time Merlin definitely wailed.

"I don't think it matters, Gwen."

"Now, how can you say that? You _know_ how close the two of you have gotten, and I'm sure with enough time..."

"Yes, time would be perfect, if it would help things, but unfortunately—"

A loud clanking sound approached from the corridor above them.

"He's having me executed for sorcery tomorrow."


End file.
